Tuesday, 31 May 2016
From a therapist’s office wall
I don’t like the phrase “A cry for help.” I just don’t like how it sounds. When somebody says to me, “I’m thinking about suicide, I have a plan; I just need a reason not to do it,” the last thing I see is helplessness.
I think: Your depression has been beating you up for years. It’s called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you’ve forgotten that it’s wrong. You don’t see good in yourself, and you don’t have any hope.
But still, here you are; you’ve come over to me, banged on my door, and said, “HEY! Staying alive is REALLY HARD right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don’t care if it’s a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!”
How is that helpless? I think that’s incredible. You’re like a marine: Trapped for years behind enemy lines, your gun has been taken away, you’re out of ammo, you’re malnourished, and you’ve probably caught some kind of jungle virus that’s making you hallucinate giant spiders.
And you’re still just going “Give me a stick! I’m not dying out here!”
“A cry for help” Makes it sound like I’m supposed to take pity on you. But you don’t need my pity. This isn’t pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species.
With NO hope, running on NOTHING, you’re ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that’s what it takes to get to safety.
All I’m doing is handing out sticks.
You’re the one staying alive.
Friday, 13 May 2016
An Experiment in Gratitude - the Science of Happiness....
What are some of the things that make us happy?
In a world where we barely take a moment to slow down and appreciate life, it may be a hard thing to slow waay down and ask the question what makes us happy? Is it possessions, money, fame, fortune?
Turns out it could be a feeling instead...
Thursday, 28 April 2016
Put some happiness in your bank account....
The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.” She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.” And with a smile, she said: “Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.
Monday, 22 February 2016
What makes good life?
Hi Happiness Warriors.
Happy Monday to you! I have an incredible video for you today. This Ted talk by Robert Waldinger, talks about a 75 year study on happiness! That's a lot longer than the happiness revolution has been running here on blogspot. After following a group of boys (now men) for the last 75 years they came to some incredible conclusions:
Here are a taster of some of the results of the study, but you should watch the video, it's very insightful.
- Social connections are very important to happiness.
- Community is key.
- Loneliness/isolation are toxic (you can be lonely in a crowd or lonely in a marriage)
- It's the quality of close relationships that matters.
- Good relationships keep our brains smarter longer.
So warriors, look after each-other, build great relationships and prioritize community!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)